I Know You’re Wondering, and the Answer is YES.

The juxtaposition of our gorgeous California summer against the backdrop of COVID, BLM, politics, and the strange and scary events in Portland and other cities is mind numbing. I am cognizant, though, and full of feeling in the form of anger, grief, and fear. My entire nervous system is racked, and I am confused and disoriented on some existential level that is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life.

It is a humbling experience to share my perspective. I’m guessing many of you are also grappling with what I describe below.

I am almost 50, and by the time I was old enough to remember anything the Vietnam War was over, Flower Power was out of style, and the Civil Rights Movement had taken a back-seat to other world events. I was in the third grade when Ronald Regan was elected and the policies associated with the War on Drugs began to exponentially accelerate the incarceration of black men, and the prison industrial complex rose to profit and provide profit to big business. I was a senior in high school when the Berlin Wall came down, and in college when the Cold War ended with the dissolution of the Soviet Union. In my young adulthood there was the Gulf War, 9/11, and the Iraq war, followed by the never-ending military engagement we’ve become accustomed to on distant soils in service of American interests. Not to mention the profits of the privatized military industrial complex.

Despite all of this, because of my socio-economic circumstances, my country of birth, my race, and my sexual and gender orientation, I have had the privilege to choose to engage with world events or to ignore them. I have enjoyed the luxury to choose to be of service or to put my focus elsewhere. All of this drama, and trauma, and struggle and strife was ‘out there’. It was not readily visible to me. It didn’t seem to be directly happening in or around my home in any of the places I have lived. And in the ways it was happening, such as with poverty and homelessness, it was easy enough to turn away from.

I’ve voted. I’ve answered my jury summons. I’ve made a family and tried to keep it healthy and intact. I’ve worked. I’ve tried to better myself. I’ve sought to enjoy my life and I’ve desired to leave the world a little better than I found it. But for the most part, at my leisure; I have taken my life and freedoms for granted.

The fear I am experiencing now is new to me.

And yet there is something familiar about it. Some echo of generational trauma upwelling from deep inside of me. Some deep knowing: Oh yes. And also this.

It is here. We are experiencing war-time circumstances on American soil. But the war is not from a foreign invader. It is emerging from within. The pandemic has opened a window of opportunity for those who seek unbridled, corrupt power to exercise agendas that would not be accepted in more settled times. Those who see an opportunity to capitalize on this crisis, and who desire power, are stoking the chaos and nursing the crisis in the service of the desired objective. If you are denying what is happening, perhaps it is because you are afraid. It is ok to be afraid. It’s a lot to take in. I know. I feel the same way. But being afraid, and being in denial are two different things.

• As border camps that resemble concentration camps host the undocumented at our borders, I am still doing the dishes.
• As this virus ravages people of color as well as communities less fortunate than mine, I put my children to bed at night with reminders to floss and silly tiktok dances in front of the bathroom mirror.
• As federal forces kidnap protestors, violating their 1st amendment rights, I am going to the grocery store to buy nutella and organic grass fed beef.
• As the economy spirals towards the deepest recession since World War II I continue to shop online, though I know full well it is making rich people richer and more politically powerful than ever, thanks to Citizens United.
• As Black lives are lost at the hands of police and in the breathless grip of COVID I still show up at work in an effort to serve, and to keep my business alive while we try to reorient ourselves.

The world is changing constantly around me. Yet I keep doing these things because that is what I’m used to doing. It’s what I’ve always done.

I’m only part way through the stack of books I bought on racism. But I just ordered On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century, by Timothy Snyder as recommended by Rachel Maddow on Friday’s podcast episode. I don’t know why I ordered it, because I already know what Snyder will say. All the signs are here. It’s happening. The lesson? Authoritarian leaders are able to take power because citizens hand it over willingly and without resistance.

“March.” Snyder said in the interview with Rachel. “If ever there was a time to go out and march, it’s now.”

He went on to explain that authoritarian power-grabs occur in a sequence of small steps. First they take rights away from the undocumented. And perhaps that’s not you, so you let it go. Then they take rights away from people of color. And perhaps that’s not you, so you let it go. Next, they take freedom from the LBGTQ community, and perhaps that’s not you, so you let it go. Finally, you voluntarily hand them your freedom so that they can better protect your safety and security from the disgruntled (which we already did after 9/11 with the Patriot Act, didn’t we?)

Historically peaceful protests are effective resistance to rising authoritarianism. We (you and I) must stand up for human rights, says Snyder. We must stand up for the rights of all humans everywhere, without exception. To do anything less is to be complicit. That used to be an American value, in theory anyway.

It’s time to march. (I know many of you have been.) And this time, we need to keep marching. (I know many of you are.) But really, it’s time for ALL of us to rise up and march even more than we did before (and this includes me, and also you. Not others. Me. And you.)

I know you’re wondering if now is the right time…you know…with the global pandemic and everything. The answer to that question is YES.

We must leave the dishes, bundle up the kids, put the marriage issues on the back burner, and turn off the computer — -because through that device we are but voyeurs of our own destiny, merely watching the downfall of our democracy in 227 pixels/inch.

If I know one thing it is that we are being called. If you haven’t already, let this really sink in:

Through our actions and through our choices we are literally saving lives.

Whether that looks like wearing a mask, making the hard choice to keep your children away from your elders, or risking your own comfort and possibly even your safety to rise up against tyranny, bigotry, oppression, and fear, you are being called.

We are being called. We are all being called now. The time is now.

Who’s with me?